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I have never really been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. It started in elementary school when I would go home and count up all the valentines I got in my homemade valentine box to make sure no one left me out on purpose. I’d then check to see if I had any secret admirers; maybe the boy I liked liked me too, and maybe he drew a little heart on my valentine, a secret between the two of us. This never happened, to my dismay.
Middle school was the worst.
Now we had to buy a paper heart for our valentines and slip them through the locker vents so our crush would be surprised when they opened their locker door. It was a contest to see who could get the most valentines in their lockers. I was lucky to get about three — one from each of my best friends. But there was that one time when I did get a paper heart from a boy I was “going out with.” This one time, I felt special, seen, and like I belonged.
In high school
We were buying candy for our friends and boyfriends or girlfriends. It was a piece of candy, like a Jolly Rancher or a heart-shaped sucker, taped to a valentine, and they had to be ordered, which was embarrassing on its own. The goodie-two-shoes of the high school volunteered to take Valentine’s orders — these would be members of the student council or the kids who always got good grades and were in all the clubs and sports. You know, the popular kids.
So if I wanted to buy a valentine for the boy I had a crush on in high school, I had to let these popular kids know. And they knew who I had a crush on because, when you ordered the valentine, you gave them the name of the person it was for so it could be delivered to them during class. On the surface, it sounded fun and exciting. A way to make students feel special during a boring day at school.
However, now the secret of who you had a crush on was out — if it wasn’t already. This was not okay in my book, so I never did it. Sorry, no exciting story about that from me.
For those who already had boyfriends and girlfriends, it was known and expected that they would get a valentine sent to them during class. I happened to have a boyfriend during my sophomore and junior years of high school, so I got the valentines I expected, but if I recall correctly, I only ever bought valentines once or twice because of the embarrassment of buying them from the popular kids who were known for spreading rumors and making fun of people. And again, it was a contest to see who could get the most valentines. A contest I never came close to winning.
In the end, none of these school practices ever made me feel good on Valentine’s Day. In fact, I only got more anxious as I grew older, knowing that Valentine’s Day was a popularity contest. To me, it was a rigged game that had nothing to do with love, so why bother participating?
Valentine’s Day is another one of those days that doesn’t live up to the hype and expectations. We hear all the stories, see all the ads, and for a month or more, hearts and the promise of love are everywhere we look. For many of us, it’s just a reminder that there isn’t someone in our lives to share that love with, and it is more of a hated holiday than a celebrated one. For those, Galentine’s Day is the way to go. Celebrating the love shared between friends is just as important as celebrating romantic love. It’s a time for women to come together to appreciate and uplift each other, whether single or in relationships. The beauty of Galentine’s Day is that it focuses on platonic love, reminding us that all forms of love are worth celebrating.
On the other hand, I see the value in celebrating our partners. Our lives are so busy and complicated that date nights often get forgotten, or other plans get in the way; there are also kids, work, and costs… the list goes on. For those in loving relationships, it is good to celebrate a day like Valentine’s Day, besides anniversaries and birthdays, to celebrate each other. Many relationships fall apart because partners don’t spend enough time together or let one another know how special they are. Granted, this should be done outside of Valentine’s Day as well.
So, here we are, almost a week after Valentine’s Day. Maybe you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day — believe it or not, after all the negative things I just said about it, I did have a good day. My partner and I went out for lupper (lunch & supper combined) and we did a little shopping. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but we took the time to make each other feel special. Maybe you had a wonderful Galentine’s Day, and you and your friends made each other feel special.
Maybe you did not have a good Valentine’s Day, and it didn’t go as you expected, or you were alone. If this was you, I’m sorry. I’ve been there. Sometimes, as much as we try to convince ourselves that we don’t care and that it’s just another day — deep down, it still hurts for some of us.
If this is you, I have a free ritual for you, if you want it, to bring in love.
If you want the whole book of Love Magic with 22 spells for self-love and love, plus magical love tips, tarot spreads, and much more, it's here, or get it cheaper on my website here.
With all the love and magic,
